Well, this is just delightful. A Chinese news station has apparently produced a whole segment on a “strange mushroom” that citizens of a rural village discovered buried deep in the ground when they were digging a well. Upon closer inspection, the thing has rubbery, lip-like things on one end and a small hole on the other and…oh God, it’s a Fleshlight.

“Even the village elder, who is above 80 years old, has not seen such a plant before,” the newscaster says. Hasn’t he?

“Touching it, it is very smooth, giving the feeling of a type of meat.” Rubber vagina meat!

“Due to the special growth requirements of this plant, it is most likely buried in deeper parts of the ground and it is hard to be discovered by humans.” IS IT NOW?

“At the same time, we discovered this plant has many stories online.” Well, that part is true…OH GOD HE KEEPS POKING IT, I JUST CAN’T.

The news station has already realized their mistake and apologized, blaming it all on the reporter, who “was still very young and unwise to the ways of the world.” Is this real, or is the Chinese news station punking us? I don’t even care. This video has already brought me more childish joy than I ever thought possible for a grey Wednesday morning.

(Via Buzzfeed)