My Cosmic Lagoon

Frozen tears from the rings of Saturn
My TV dinner on Mercury over done and burned
Like my conversation with a Sasquatch
A privilege that I earned,

Could the news get any stupider?
Left my sack lunch on Jupiter,

Enjoying my purple heaven in the craters on Mars
Better get a mask a new variation of Sars
The new medication from Doctor Jekyll's flask
Where is sanity? I guess you better ask,

A tennis bracelet from the dark side of the moon
I eat my Venusian omelette with a radioactive spoon
My extraterrestrial date, she's coming real soon
All while I sit and relax in my cosmic lagoon,

A soiled pair of underwear from the man of steel
As I watch the news media could this be real?
My hybrid dog recites poetry with such zeal
I bought a robotic partner and got a good deal,

Kids in third world countries drink Paraquat
Because they really don't give a squat
I just killed an insect drone with a single swat
The Peeping Tom alien just got caught,

Could the news get any stupider?
Left my sack lunch on Jupiter,

Remembering my love for a woman from Taiwan shores
The funny thing about it is she doesn't care anymore
That collision with an asteroid left me a bit sore
The reality in front of me is just like folklore,

UFO's made from holograms all the new rage
A whole nuclear arsenal ready to engage
Monkey human hybrids, a historical page
Always finding more excuses to put us in a cage,

Galactic cowboys like a Martian John Wayne
Drinking Saurian brand until I feel no pain
I have to keep my dinosaur chained
Even though I feed him free range,

The day of truth has finally come around
The trumpets from heaven, can you dig that sound?
Where is truth I ask, it can't be found
The blood of humanity licked up by hounds,

Could the news get any stupider?
Left my sack lunch on Jupiter.