It is a sad commentary today that men and women seeking a permanent and dedicated partner should have to endure the slings and arrows of abuse and deception from that spouse whom we married for true love. Unfortunately, we are forced to pierce the fog of betrayal or anticipate it first by identifying red flags, troubling signs that should not be ignored. These red flags come in a host of different telltale behaviors and are due to a number of reasons. However, ask yourself, do you want to pay the price for someone else’s mistreatment or their problematical past? Yet, more often than not we are haunted by things that happened to our partners that we had nothing to do with. Aside from getting on our knees and praying for miracles we are well advised to interpret rad flag behavior in order to protect our mental health, personal security, and even our continued faith in the sanctity of marriage.

Red Flag # 10) Psychos. Though most men would admit that any number of women they’ve been with possess this unique and, at times, frightening characteristic. However, let’s discuss those women who have a definite problem keeping the demon controlled. For a time early in the relationship, you may be unaware of that dark creature who has yet to rear its ugly head, but when you do experience that tantrum, those words she can never take back, being beaten on the chest with her fists, or perhaps even telling you she’s going to go out and get laid by another man, take heed!

Verily I say

How fondly I remember my first ex and her antics thanks to being molested by her father, caught in the act by the mother, and then her mother believing that the daughter had tried to seduce the poor alcoholic violent father. With this in mind of my ex gave herself permission to become a backseat princess, the bad girl, of the classroom, or the preferred pump by all the guys. Was it her fault that she was violated by her father and permanently scarred for life? No. Was it fair for myself to be on the receiving end of all her hurt and anger? No. I was young and I certainly unaware of identifying red flags. I probably could have avoided a lot of heartaches, but happily, we did bring 4 beautiful children into the world and 3 of them are still alive and well.

Animal desires

I sentimentally recollect a woman I dated off and on for a couple of years while being a single parent of 4 young kids. I will tell you from experience that tier 1 single women had no particular desire for a ready-made family no matter how nice a guy their Dad was. So, I found myself in the crosshairs of the 2^nd and 3^rd tier choice of women. Those a little less desirable, a little less educated, with a little less income, and some also raising a family by themselves. All said, quite a colorful lot. This particular mattress queen saw me with my kids and myself having pizza at a table in a sports bar and Dad was having a couple drinks to self-medicate over his wondrous circumstance. She later told me she was impressed by how well-mannered the kids were and attributed that to the father (Me). Just to illustrate how much I ascribe to my own advice, I picked her up that night after taking the kids home and tucking them in.

Animals with clothes

For a while the physical relationship was good but soon I began to get those offhanded remarks about her uses of Xanax, brawling with guys out in the parking lot who wouldn’t take no for answer, than come to find out she had lost custody of her only son because her temper was out of control. Does it sound like I found out too late? You could almost say she hated kids. I remember one fine Sunday when she called me to come over to relieve her urges. I told her I just couldn’t go running off and leave my kids, but no she didn’t want them in her pool or running around in her house either. Needless to say, her urges went unsatisfied. She even told me she once called a neighbor, a guy living in a house behind hers that she didn’t even know that well and told him she needed to be serviced. You can perhaps see why I kept her on the back burner so to speak.

Volunteer clowns

I kid you not. This is a true story. Whereas women are always the victims of over sexed marauding men I would say that my personal experiences trump that aphorism. I made a scheduled sales call to a large apartment complex that would have been a good volume bread and butter account if I could land it. On a Saturday morning I walked in to make my presentation and the Assistant Manager was at her desk almost in tears over her hang over when our conversation was interrupted by a phone call. It was a boyfriend she’s recently dumped and I think I could hear the poor bastard sobbing from his end of the phone as she told him, no, they could not go on seeing each other anymore. Her already hung over condition was getting worse.

Hip malchicks

Suddenly we broke out of the business I had to discuss and she began telling me her schedule. She had a kid that she shared custody over so she could not go out on 4 nights in the middle of the week but she could entertain from Thursday night on. She was blonde and slender. She told me she liked tall guys like me especially with blonde hair and a mustache. I calmly and politely regarded that information. She then took my printed material to the Manager for a final decision and then told me to walk right into her boss’s office. Sitting there was a bleach blond lady in her early forties maybe, well preserved and dressed somewhat revealingly for an administrator, but it was hard to ignore what was under that tight blouse, being professional however I hinted not at my visual appreciation. As a provider, I did not go around bedding my customers. The Russians have a saying, “You don’t shit where you eat.”

Red Flag # 11) Outside the rear French door entrance was a man squatted down doing his best imitation of a plumber. He should have pulled up his jeans for sure. She reviewed my paperwork and then proceeded to fill me in on her situation and her sexual preferences. She informed me that she found out her husband, the guy just outside of her door with the well-exposed plumber’s butt, had been cheating on her when they were younger and she was always looking for something bigger and better, but she liked to be treated gently. So I was propositioned and cougared all in the same office that day, but I was there to make money and support my family. Needless to say I never got the account. It seems I didn’t deliver the goods as was expected. That was a weird day.

Not quite the invisible man

Aw, those were the good old days when I had hope and women came onto me thus destroying in my mind the myth that women were more respectful and less promiscuous than men and that everything was the man’s fault. By the time I was 18 I was already being hit on by cougars who were in their thirties. By the time I was in my twenties I was being cougared by women in their 40’s. I could never wrap my head around doing a woman whose age reminded me of that of my mother’s. And women never stop either even today older women than I will respond to my dating profile. It’s quite disturbing. I remember when I was 19 and hadn’t started my own business yet. I was working in my Dad’s business delivering and managing a food warehouse. I had to go out to a famous steak house, family owned in Garland. I had to pick up a check because they were late on their account. When I came into the office the daughter of the owner, probably in her mid-thirties and nice looking deliberately sat on my hand. I was leaning on her desk and instead of sitting on her chair she chose to sit right on my hand. I never moved my hand either and she never moved her butt, covered by a short skirt. I was so taken by surprise I just let that be, got my check and walked out of there to my delivery van. I must say that did create a rise in my Levi's.

Frisky little pets

The point I’m making here is that the presumed innocence of the female is quite overrated and intentionally so. Men have for quite some time been the target of the left portraying us as buffoons, couch potatoes, and horn dogs. We have little redeeming value if one consults Feminists or the angry man hating estranged women who make bad choices always wondering why Mister Bad Boy whom she thinks is so much fun, yet she just can’t figure out why she’s been left high and dry while wondering why shit keeps falling out of the sky on her. Human nature, so self-defeating in all its splendor!

Still a hint of virtue

I will never quite forget when working as a phone solicitor, age 18, and I was standing so close to this office manager who told me I had such a deep sexy voice how in my own inexperienced way I could sense her intentions like the vibes that a Thompson’s Gazelle must get from a lion when it’s time to eat. I could smell her stale perfume, her hormones, and the covered up scent of her boiler room perspiration wafting through my nostrils. She invited me to go out to lunch with her sometime real soon, but I doubt it would be for finding a nearby eatery. However, I was just as surprised to watch the Dallas police on duty coming onto to 15 and 16-year-old hippie chicks on Lemon Avenue. That bothered me a lot. Well, a couple more red flags revealed and a few tainted memories. Submitted for your approval.