Do not attempt to adjust your set!

Sit Quietly as we control the horizontal, the vertical and change lies into crystal clarity!

Universal Health Care worked wonders for my farsightedness. Tell me is it day or night?

Damn it! Don't tell me Trump wins again in 2020! you half assed Smart hand!

The Man Who Was Never Born 

Can you believe they fell for that Birth Certificate alibi of mine?

As Speaker of The House I declare I am through with Donald Trump!

I do declare! I feel like a woman today. I'm going to the little girls showers. See you soon!

All I did was fall face first on the sidewalks of San Francisco and look what it did to me!

Wait a minute! Mueller's investigation is through. Are you guys Nadler's boys?

Why of course we Democrats know what we're doing! Do I look crazy?

When I went to Red Square in Moscow for my Honeymoon I saw the beauty of Communism!

Opiates not a problem for me anymore I just continually snort'em!

AG Barr just sent the US Marshall's we're toast!

Okay so took care of Seth Rich I got Breitbart too! It's going to take more money now Chuckie!

You should have kept your mouth shut, AOC, you revealed just how stupid you truly are!

And No, I'm not David Bowie!

Listen damn it! You're going to have to prepare yourself for 4 more years of Trump!

We now return you to your regularly scheduled broadcasting!