Can’t stand to look in the mirror at whose looking back at me

How time has changed the conditions that existed when I was free

The shadow of a man who didn’t fall far from the tree

Although I’m not restrained seems I’ve changed permanently,

A shadow of who I was once now disillusioned and sorry

Or could I simply be a ghost just hovering eerily?

Was it all my fault or just by decree?

I pray to you Lord with this humbling plea,

The greatness of the past never destined to last

Somehow I fell into a void just as vast

It’s as if some evil spell has been cast

My antagonists must be having a blast!

Who were you to promise yourself into my life?

To get me to believe in you despite the strife

Then you removed me with surgical skill and a knife

Sometimes I just have to sit down and sigh,

Sometimes I feel like a specter simply here to observe

How I wish so much I could have been ahead of the curve

It seems I underestimated your ruthless nerve,

Like the driver who wished if he’d only just swerved,

The inescapable consequences for all that has occurred

The lines between right and wrong seem vague and blurred

But the matters of the heart can never be assured

My deepening malaise from your actions ensured,

Now it seems I was never the captain of my ship

Instead I was being tailed by the enemy like a radar blip

When I let my guard down and my defenses slipped

My mind goes back to that moment and the Hemlock I sipped.