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Comment by CHUCK W. on August 29, 2010 at 6:40pm

Bob Blasts Joe Lieberman!

EREWHON (AP) —In a wide-ranging interview, Bob the Sex Candidate took a healthy swipe at Joseph Lieberman, the Democratic vice presidential candidate.
"Joe Lieberman is the anti-erection candidate. His 'morality' campaign is little more than a government anti-sex program. It's also anti-American. Our first president, George Washington, was the father of his country. He wasn't anti-sex! In fact, we have a giant phallic monument on the DC mall to honor his well-known prowess."

"Lieberman is nothing more than a wizened old man who can't get it up anymore," Bob continued. "No wonder he goes on frothing about 'sex and violence'. He wants to administer violence to those who still enjoy sex."

When asked by reporters, a spokesman for the Lieberman campaign said, "We won't dignify Bob's comments with a response. Besides, we hear Bob is uncircumcized."

Another Bob, Bob Dole, the Republican presidential candidate in 1996, volunteered, "Let it never be said that Bob Dole never helped a fellow politician in need. Joe Lieberman can come to Bob Dole, and I'll fix him up with some viagra. Hell, I have crates of the stuff just lying around."

Meanwhile, Bob, the Sex Candidate, announced his choice for vice presidential running mate, Courtney, the Female Chameleon. Courtney is famous for her ability to transform herself into different women on a daily basis. "Courtney has the versatility and stamina to keep pace with all the ins and outs of a serious political campaign," Bob said, "as well as spread wide appeal to both men and women voters."

Bob went on to point out Courtney's governing record. "For a number of years she has been High Priestess of the Cult of the Phoenix, a sex society stemming from the Middle Ages."

To the amazement of reporters and several hundred thousand supporters gathered just outside Bob's campaign headquarters, Courtney promptly stripped and showed the secret tattoo carried on the right buttock of all Sect members.

The Sect of the Phoenix was the subject of a book, The God of the Labrynth, by English novelist Colin Wilson. Reportedly the eighteenth century rake, Esmond Donelly, was a member of the sect.

Courtney declined the formality of an acceptance speech. She simply posed for photographs, and smiled and waved at adoring voters.

Comment by CHUCK W. on August 29, 2010 at 6:39pm

Redheads for Bob


Hi. My hair is fiery red, and I'm voting for Bob. Bob is an incendiary leader, and a flame of hope for America. He smolders in the the cockles of my heart.
Bob wants to make sure that all Americans get enough sex. Or at least once a week, anyway. Isn't that a worthy cause? Well, it's given me and my friends something to believe in. And we're passionate about our beliefs.

Some have asked: But what if you get drafted and select civilian service over military and end up in one of Bob's Orgasmic-Health-Clinc-and-House of Joys? Well, if I get drafted, I will serve my country. I will serve my country with pride, knowing that it's better to serve than to burn. Also, I will be gaining valuable experience that I can use throughout the rest of my life.

Bob's motto is: To love and serve. That's my motto too. Make it yours. Vote for Bob.

This has been a paid political announcement. Paid for by Redheads for Bob.

Comment by CHUCK W. on August 29, 2010 at 6:38pm

Guns Are a Girl's Best Friend

Hi. I'm a girl. And a voter. I'm voting for the Anti-Bush, because he's not a fraud. He knows guns are a girl's best friend.
You want equality? Then quit complaining and learn to shoot, bitch.

Milton Friedman once said: "The Reagan-Bush years? What Reagan-Bush years? There were the Reagan years. And then there were the Bush-Clinton years!"

Gee, what's with this W. Bush guy's "compassionate conservative" thing? Does that sound like Clinton's "I feel your pain" or what?


You want a conservative? Then vote for the real thing!

And, remember. Don't forget to bring your guns.

Comment by CHUCK W. on August 29, 2010 at 6:37pm

America Needs Education Bob's "hands on" weekly workshops will teach you important life lessons.

Paid for at government expense!

Comment by CHUCK W. on August 29, 2010 at 6:35pm

Brunettes for Bob


Hi. I'm not blonde, and I'm voting for Bob. Bob doesn't discriminate on account of race, color, creed, sexual orientation, or hair color. Don't think that Bob is just the "dumb blonde" candidate. It is a scientifically proven fact that brunettes average 10 IQ points higher than blondes. And we're for Bob too.
Bob wants to make sure that all Americans get enough sex. Or at least once a week, anyway. Isn't that a worthy cause? Well, it's given me and my friends something to believe in. And we're smart.

Some have asked: But what if you get drafted and select civilian service over military and end up in one of Bob's Orgasmic-Health-Clinc-and-House of Joys? Well, if I get drafted, I will serve my country. I will serve my country with pride, knowing also that I will be gaining valuable experience that I can use throughout the rest of my life.

Bob's motto is: To love and serve. That's my motto too. Make it yours. Vote for Bob.

This has been a paid political announcement. Paid for by ex-Blondes for Bob Brunettes for Bob.

Comment by CHUCK W. on August 29, 2010 at 6:34pm

J. ORLIN GABBE ,THE AUTHOR ,WILL BE CLAPPING HIS HAND IN HIS COFFIN
TO HEAR LONG AFTER HIS DEATH SOME ONE GETS IT!
YOU ROCK BRO!

Comment by Nikki on August 29, 2010 at 6:18pm

Hmmm...would love to see but I must get some work done. Later guys!

Comment by CHUCK W. on August 29, 2010 at 6:12pm

HAVE FOUR MORE IF ANYONE WANTS TO READ ON

Comment by CHUCK W. on August 29, 2010 at 6:11pm

Comment by CHUCK W. on August 29, 2010 at 6:10pm

OH I KNOW THIS IS JUST SATIRE! LOL

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