Web-World Wonders www 3.0 pat donovan Aug 16th 2010

Today's lesson? A take-away of rare delight. Welcome to the wonders of the web.

Version 3.0, mind. Big brother has reduced the city to Tricked-out Borg, docile and compliant Zombies and gangas.
Cowboys, hustlers and thinkers.

You won't learn this stuff in bible school. (And what the girls teach you there you can't repeat in public.)

Ya GOTTA be part of a tribe, right? Any single-issue politics you like supporting? Color, maybe? Region? Hubby?

NEWS TEAM, ASSEMBLE! Twitters away! Blackberry bomb! To the SPAM, harch!

Authority? Cops investigate complainers first. (Hey, it works out often enough to be part of the manual.) Hence Fink-world self-destructs fast, as MOST complainers are just out to confuse the issue. Or score, if they can.

Wanna try it? Guilty, guilty, guilty. Any paper-work hating flat-foot has a quota to fill, politics to cover up and you're just cannon-fodder.

Being on the web means you're ALREADY downtown and crowd-sourcing anyway. Flashing, mob or otherwise.

It also means the crowd has it's hand stuck out at you already, too.

ID time. Spare change? On the mark, get set, Hello!

Rule one. Never pass a freebie up, and unless you're already crowded, you're a floater. A freebie.

Floaters are net-hangers looking to score. Scoring is very important here, as that's all the action that gets by.

You looking? Hello and buy-buy!

From you? Ha. Talk to the hand... the middle-man listens, right?

Nothing today? Nothing is ever wasted here. The lynch-mob will come out now.
Gimme a smile, some company or some dough, fella! This is by-by time! Fit in or flit out!

Demands, eh? We could just shoot you now. Hows that, hustler?

Please, put that out. I'm allergic to tobacco smoke! (And pregnant, or easily offended. Your choice.)

Lets see some hives first, hon. Fat people get hospitalized more than smokers do. Cars kill more and are a lot dirtier.
You drive and don't like outdoor smokers? Plus you're fat-lady deadwood? Holy triple-whammy time. (fat, ugly, dumb)
Here's some free diseased advice, killer. Stay home and out of peanut-free trouble.

Memmbe you just smell funny. Or your mom dresses you cheap and weird. It doesn't matter, really. The bible-school lesson here? Web-hustle goes like this. Well, a little of it. First, a masked come-on.

One of 'Attack, retreat, defend, surrender'.

Attack means 'exploit, trap, gambit or defend'.

Defend is 'isolate, sabotage, coverup or mudball'.
Sabotage is usually 'lie, cheat, steal, kill.'

Coverup is 'overt, covert, subterfuge or clandestine' ops.

Well, you're screwed, aintcha? Welcome to web 3.0

Strategy and tactics. Phrasing and style.

Fink-world, weasels and Big Brother.

Welcome aboard... to a Hand-out, lynch-mob or the teaming Mass.