Archaeologists have discovered an ancient tool dated to be 6,000 years old, but even more surprising was the inscription found on the handle. In this enlarged image it reads "Mattel Toys" Thus compelling scientists to reset historic timelines.

New species of ancient man determined not to be brushing their teeth after examination of their dental health and determined to have had smelly breath!

Lucy, the oldest known human species found under the "Cradle of Civilization" sites in Africa has been determined to have lived with other ancient human roommates and was charging them rent! 

Archeologists have now discovered that Neanderthal beings thousands of years ago actually listened to rock'n'roll, smoked dope, and generally grooved out! 

A man who refused to listen to neighbors who warned him that a cougar was in his backyard took this photo from his cell phone. It was the last photo he took before disappearing and not being seen or heard from since.

Another species of cougar that reportedly victimizes younger men, uses them for sex, drains their wallet, and leaves them for another is commonly mistaken as the animal species, but by all accounts, is even more deadly! 

A new theory arrived at by Archeologists is that ancient men were extremely paranoid and insecure so that they carried their sticks with them at all times.

A new study proves that Bobcats actually have a sense of humor and find jokes by George Carlin to be hilarious!

Facial reconstructions can now be achieved through computerized images using skulls and lifestyle clues proving what a bunch of ugly bastards our ancestors were!

Limestone balls hand carved by ancient humans proving they were just as good at wasting time and effort as Gen Z is using a cell phone to play video games for hours at a time.