Your favorite little dog when you were a kid
Then you heard that terrible high pitched tire skid!
Your very first puppy love what dreams are made of
All it took while at the subway was a shove,

Captain Reality gets off on a scare
Is there anymore that you can bear?
He’s busy designing your own custom nightmare
Captain Reality’s really on a tear!

Your buddy did it on a dare ran across a busy thoroughfare
Couldn’t dodge all the fast cars that were there!
With a noose around her neck and standing on a chair
Captain Reality made short work of the affair,

It was supposed to be a getaway flight
With two lovers holding hands tight
It ended abruptly on a stormy night
A smoking debris field at the site.

Captain Reality laughs with all his might
Tells you to go fly a kite!
The mailman always did his job right
When he suffered another dog’s bite,

You were pulled over on a routine stop
By a trigger happy Cop
“Let me see your hands and drop!”
Somebody rinse this bloody mop!

Captain Reality lets out a laugh
Your fighter jet just released the chaff
There’s a missile coming from your aft
If you don’t eject you must be daft!

The enemy spots your parachute in the sky
There’s Captain Reality standing by
Rice paddy mud right in your eye
Good news the rescue chopper thought you died!

Captain Reality cracks a grin
He knows exactly where you’ve been
Although you try hard not to sin
He pulls out yet another Voodoo pin.