Interwebs, Hypertexts and Newspapers – Original Humor

12.160MHz
By Marklar M. Marklar
July 03, 2009


Recently a respected judge from New York, Judge Richard Posner, has suggested a ban on interweb hyperlinks in order to save the floundering newspaper industry.

Experts at UC Berkely were quick to point out that Judge Posner seems to be mega illiterate when it comes to interweb technology saying , “Judge Posner seems to be mega illiterate when it comes to interweb technology.” Less redundantly they also pointed out that, “The interweb is a series of tubes, man. These tubes were built for a purpose and that purpose is to carry hyperlinks and hypertexts dig? If you take away the hyperlinks and hypertexts there’s no reason for those tubes to exist.”

Indeed, your browser confirms this right in your address bar where every address starts with http which stands for hypertexts tube protocol. Without hypertexts this would become simple tp or tube protocol, and who needs a protocol to control empty tubes.

Not to be outdone, Mustaffa Greenbaum of the FFEF (Fiends For Easy Fleecing), a Washington DC based arch neo-con think tank , held a press conference in front of Roy’s Liquor Emporium today saying, “It’s obvious that Judge Posner’s recommendation is a bit radical. The interweb would cease to exist as we know it if his proposal were implemented so we’ve come up with a more moderate solution to this grave problem.”

“It’s obvious when you think about it”, Mr Greenbaum continued. “Right now newspapers have a right to copyright their creative works, their word configurations if you prefer. We propose that it is only natural to allow newspapers to extend their copyright to all words in printed form as well as their combinations and configurations.”

Asked by cub reporter Helen Thomas as to whether this would have the effect of stifling free speech, Mr. Greenbaum’s assistant Carlos Nguyen replied, “I don’t think you understand. The FFEF is a patriotic organization which fully supports the constitution including free speech. The copyright regarding individual words would only apply to words made from letters. Bloggers would still be free to communicate over the webernet using pictograms such as Egyptian hieroglyphs and graphically depicted sign language. We’re not trying to get rid of free speech here. We just want to slow it down a bit so that the newspaper industry has a fair chance to be competitive in the free market.”

Apparently dozens of pre-screened random by passers agreed with the proposal since dozens of them proclaimed their support as the FFEF distributed free guns, bibles and liquor throughout the rest of the afternoon in exchange for contractual blood oaths of loyalty.

Local FFEF supporter Swen Running Bear summed up the crowd’s enthusiasm saying, “Pictures good, words bad.” Indeed Swen, this unbiased reporter couldn’t have said it better.

Copyright ©2009, Your Mamma.

Views: 687

Comment

You need to be a member of 12160 Social Network to add comments!

Join 12160 Social Network

Comment by Tara on July 4, 2009 at 1:46am
If tubes are still free-flowing then I'm hitching a ride onto the next tube and flowing down the river.... and I'll be flowing with the current! All heil free tubes! I like anything that is free, lol.
Comment by Marklar on July 3, 2009 at 2:40pm
Mom says hyperlinks on the interwebs be a-okay.
Comment by Tara on July 3, 2009 at 10:30am
Once again....LMAO Marklar! I hope you're mamma doesn't mind if I hyperlink this article, lol!

Kudos Marklar!

"Destroying the New World Order"

TOP CONTENT THIS WEEK

THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING THE SITE!

mobile page

12160.info/m

12160 Administrators

 

Latest Activity

Doc Vega posted a blog post

Is This Story True and Have their Identities Been Changed? Part 2

 Lieutenant Bennington radioed the aircraft carrier group, “Blackjack, Blackjack, this is LZ 3031…See More
4 hours ago
Sandy posted a video

RISE OF THE RAINBOW CHILDREN (2021)

📺AMAZON/FIRESTICK/ROKU: Thescariestmovieever.tv https://watch.thescariestmovieever.tv/webtv-v3/ 💯EMERGENCY FOOD SUPPLIES HERE (*Specials):…
23 hours ago
tjdavis posted videos
yesterday
Burbia posted a photo
yesterday
Less Prone favorited tjdavis's video
yesterday
Less Prone favorited tjdavis's video
yesterday
Less Prone posted photos
yesterday
Doc Vega posted a blog post

Is This Story True and Have their Identities Been Changed?

(Perhaps it’s the only way it can be told) Chapter 1Roy reached across the aisle of the DC-3 as it…See More
Monday
Doc Vega posted photos
Monday
Sandy posted videos
Sunday
cheeki kea commented on cheeki kea's photo
Sunday
cheeki kea posted a photo
Sunday
cheeki kea favorited Doc Vega's blog post A Grain of Hope
Sunday
Doc Vega posted blog posts
Saturday
Doc Vega's 7 blog posts were featured
Saturday
tjdavis's blog post was featured
Saturday
Burbia's blog post was featured

Mystery illness strikes Russia with fever, blood symptoms, and no cure in sight.

I guess releasing this bio-weapon upon Israeli neighbors would be hitting too close to home. I…See More
Saturday
Less Prone commented on Doc Vega's photo
Thumbnail

main-qimg-357a10f7111dcf87a3cc6e2afad83855

"Islam is only a phase preceding a total Talmudic rule and a new world religion."
Saturday
Less Prone commented on tjdavis's photo
Thumbnail

WWRJD

"I doubt a d-rat Jesus would be better. Much worse. “Politicians are the lowest form of life…"
Saturday
Less Prone favorited tjdavis's photo
Saturday

© 2025   Created by truth.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service

content and site copyright 12160.info 2007-2019 - all rights reserved. unless otherwise noted