July 4th Fireworks Banned To Prevent Global Warming
Happy Independence Day everyone!!!!!!
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Philadelphia PA - The City of Brotherly Love has abandoned its traditional Independence Day fireworks. The city will screen Al Gore's 'An Inconvenient Truth' for the public instead.
The birthplace of America has decided to set an example for the nation by banning fireworks which release a large amount of carbon dioxide when they explode.Barbecues were banned last year for the same reason. Except they don't explode as often.
City residents seemed resigned to the new world order.
"It will help the world survive, so I'm for it. And I think I still have 1997's firework display on video, so it's no biggee." said Philadelphia native Cathy Dummlap.
Other residents took a more militant stand.
"They should ban the whole day! It's nothing but a militaristic, violent, white-male dominated, anti-wymyn, anti-earth holiday. I still feel so ashamed." said Micheal Oboma. Mr. Oboma is husband of the presidential candidate.
Some will miss the fireworks. Mr. Fish is 98 years old and has seen every display since 1912. "I hate people now. When did all the lunatics gain control of everything? I hope all these freaks get exactly what they deserve." said the grouchy old Mr. Fish.
The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.
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http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s2i36651
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Philadelphia PA - The City of Brotherly Love has abandoned its traditional Independence Day fireworks. The city will screen Al Gore's 'An Inconvenient Truth' for the public instead.
The birthplace of America has decided to set an example for the nation by banning fireworks which release a large amount of carbon dioxide when they explode.Barbecues were banned last year for the same reason. Except they don't explode as often.
City residents seemed resigned to the new world order.
"It will help the world survive, so I'm for it. And I think I still have 1997's firework display on video, so it's no biggee." said Philadelphia native Cathy Dummlap.
Other residents took a more militant stand.
"They should ban the whole day! It's nothing but a militaristic, violent, white-male dominated, anti-wymyn, anti-earth holiday. I still feel so ashamed." said Micheal Oboma. Mr. Oboma is husband of the presidential candidate.
Some will miss the fireworks. Mr. Fish is 98 years old and has seen every display since 1912. "I hate people now. When did all the lunatics gain control of everything? I hope all these freaks get exactly what they deserve." said the grouchy old Mr. Fish.
The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.
If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s2i36651
Comment
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Comment by Sam Sammy on July 4, 2015 at 10:58am
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Happy Independence Day.......1776!!!
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Comment by truth on July 3, 2015 at 2:09pm
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flashback
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I am speechless, this global warming non sense has to stop NOW!
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Comment by Tara on July 5, 2009 at 7:58am
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In Sheboygan where I live they actually banned the use of sparklers in the city limits while all the 4th of July festivities are going on and you could be fined 2-300 dollars if caught lighting up those terrorist like devices. Beware of the evil sparklar...be afraid, be very afraid! And this is a true story.
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Comment by Inheritor From ConCen on July 5, 2009 at 1:39am
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LOL. this is incredible! and on the other side of the county they are having big brother beyond nanny state checkpoints for folks that MIGHT have fireworks.
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Comment by Marklar on July 5, 2009 at 12:14am
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Hmmm, maybe they should waterboard a polar bear in order to illustrate the effects of global warming.
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