Not everyone is going to agree with this blog, yet I am willing to go out on a limb here and put it out there, because I firmly believe that it has hurt the world and society as a whole.
The fact that man used to be considered a provider and protector has more recently been eliminated from the course which in turn has taken away their identity in a household. Women used to think of them as the "Head of a Household"; today they are just another person.
Men no longer have a value or importance to their position in a home or household, they can be completely removed from the home. Today even procreation has been removed since sperm donors are now used by women who choose to raise a family without a man. So the prominent three p's so to speak have been completely removed from our societal norms. Protect, procreate and provide are now elements of the past.
How has this change effected our society or men for that matter?
I am most certain that male self image has been deflated the past decade most of all. Since in the past man has equated to fearlessness to the necessity of defending their family and country today that is no longer part of the picture. Has our society thrown out the baby with the bathwater?
We have in essence done just that; by robbing men of the three p's Procreation, providing and protecting. Now they are just another body or person who has no significant value in a home structure.
Becoming a man is genetic and still has a role in life although men now have been robbed of the role of masculinity. Men equate manhood or masculinity as: The title is inclusive of honor and must be earned through acts of courage skill and endurance. In essence real men are made not born. Today this is no longer the scenario. men of the past were in the forefront always seen, courageous and brave men in general were through to be fearless, strong, independant, leaders in their own right, constantly brawling and grappling. Thier signature of the past but today that is not necessarily the way of men today. Today they have lost the sense of "fight or flight" rather they are more passive and allowed to become the "peterpan" image that was frowned upon 30 years ago. They are permitted to show their inner sensitive side. Men were once looked upon as the stronger of the sexes, yet today they are just another body. Once upon a time men were looked to as "authority or power" and mothers for "Love and affection" Men were thought to be tough and woman thought to be soft. No longer is that the "NORM"
Preventing men to maintain their role of provider protector and procreator in essence has managed to create the perpetual sense of the peter pan complex and not allowing them to evolve into manhood which is a learned helplessness.
In the past manhood was defined by masculinity and the energy was used to promote and define a man today it is squelched and smothered. In today's society if they pursue a female who is much younger they are told this is wrong and thrown in jail and tagged as a savage immorale human. In the past this was a man showing his maturity and masculinity instinctually, In today's society they are told this is wrong and they are punished, even if the act is consensual by the woman.
Today we are raising men to be women and women to be men. No wonder there is a confused state of being and identity crisis going on in the world. There is no defining lines today. The roles have been replaced and removed where for centuries prior to this they existed and played a natural part in societal conformity.
Today we are raising men to be passive and submissive, we are teaching them not to fight but to submit, we are teaching them to accept a role which is not instinctual by nature to them but will lead to our demise ultimately. While men in general have always been the providers protectors and initiated the procreation of life. They are now no longer essential nor elementally necessary.
Where in the past they would fight to protect the women and children, today they will no longer fend for them. Today the women can report men and they will go away for most of their lives as punishment, and women are encouraged to report and not punished for standing up to men. What have we done here other than reverse condition them into roles they are not instinctually accustom to. They assume roles that are alien to them and they will not benefit from this rather it is sure to fail.
Years ago I never thought about working in a steel mill to support my family without a male role model, I just did what I felt I had to do in order to provide for my fatherless family. I did not think that by example I was showing my sons that a woman was doing a man's job. That they would learn that this was the woman's role, not the mans role.
I know to day that this was a confusing period for my son's, but in the same sense the fact their father was a abusive to their mother and also to them, demonstrated something else as well. In order to survive one must do what one must do to survive.
Although their father was abusive to my self and his children, I felt in order to protect them there was a need to separate "us" from him. Today, I think back on this and wonder; what was I teaching my sons then. Was it survival of the fittest to eliminate the man from the home or was it emasculating?
My sons have true respect for women today yet it took them a bit longer to grasp that they need to be providers of themselves, when finally I asked them did you think that you never would have to go out and get a job for the rest of your lives? and they replied "yes" I said to them "I am so sorry for leading you to believe this delusion but you must work and provide there are very few exceptions to that rule". They both went out and found a job. they have never been able to hold one for very long but that has nothing to do with their willingness, rather they bore easily with the medial work at hand they need to find a skill or vocation which will appeal and hold their interests.
My concern is that I let my sons down in teaching them right from wrong, where it came to the position of the man in a home. I do not want them to think "that to be passive" is correct or "to be submissive" is alright. That to be allowed to be emasculated is ok. It is not, far from it! There will be no one to protect when the demand arrises. We have truly robbed our men of their instincts and inherent right to become men, we have in a sense created a "Peterpan" society.
Where most men will turn the other way and allow others to tread on their turf and or take what is not theirs, submissive and passive in nature. My son's are not typical, but then again they were home schooled and removed from high school when most teenagers are subjected to drugs, parties, sex and illicit behavior. My children were sheltered and educated within the confines of their home environment. They were not exposed to the social elements that mold most of the youth of today, which in a sense, I regret, but in many other senses, I do not have regrets.
I feel we have reversed the role of men in our society over the past couple of decades and I firmly believe our society will pay a huge price for that in the not too distant future.