If Your Misery Still Wants Company, "Don't Come Around Here No More" (Original Essay)

I have definitely known misery in the past and the company I kept were just as miserable. Was it “The Law of Attraction” that made this so? Family members tried to warn me long ago that you are who you hang around with. It's too bad that I didn't understand the depth of those words back then. But what did they know right? I thought I knew everything in my teen years. It took me many years after the fact to realize how wrong I was.

For the last several years, I've been making strides to eliminate negativity in my life. And that means trying to rid myself of negative influences and people. This in no way is an easy task because these people seem to seek me out and I have to ask myself, why? Do I have a sign on my forehead that reads, “I'm a glutton for punishment”? Am I just too damn nice? Or do I subconsciously allow these people into my life? Considering my chaotic upbringing, that would make the most sense. Even when you think the past is buried and put to rest, it finds a way to manifest itself somewhere down the road. The vicious cycle continues until you learn something from it.

Have you ever been around someone that can't go a day without bitching and complaining about something or the kind of person that when you say white, they say black and if you say up, they say down? It drives me crazy and after the crazy fades, I feel as if the life blood has been sucked right out of me. There are a couple of people I work with and in my personal life that dwell in the house of negativity. Misery loves company. Well if that's the case, misery is not welcome over. If it were that easy.

Negative people are everywhere. Hell... they're even in my family. I love my mom but she is the number one offender of being negative. Every time I speak to her on the phone, she goes on and on about death, sickness, depression, the sky is falling and did I mention... the sky is falling? I start getting swept up in her pity pool and I feel like I'm drowning with her. She is such a drain on my energy. And I can't get rid of my mom just as I can't rid myself of coworkers or the closest people I have in my life. Lord knows I can't change them so instead I must learn how to not allow their negativity to be all consuming. I need to build up a protective shield around my heart and mind to preserve what sanity I have left.

You know where I find the most negativity these days? It's right here in the truth movement/alternative media. I can't count how many times I've heard that the stock market was going to crash (death of the dollar), martial law will be declared, natural disasters are imminent, Armageddon is coming, the end is near... run for the hills! And it is all going to happen tomorrow but tomorrow never comes. It reminds me of my mother on the other end of the phone ranting on about DEATH, SICKNESS, DEPRESSION, THE SKY IS FALLING!!! There's way too much doom in the room without a view.

I really am starting to believe that people love their own misery. They can not be happy unless there is a crisis to fixate on. If you claim that you're awake but you exist in darkness, then how is that you can see? If “The Law of Attraction” is correct, you are going to get back what you put out there. Negativity begets more negativity, just as positivity has the same effect. The only way to change this is by becoming conscious that you are creating the darkness you live in. And you alone are the only one that can seek to see the light.

If your misery still wants company, “Don't come around here no more.”

Tara ~

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Permalink Reply by Hunter N. Gatherer on May 27, 2015 at 5:08pm

I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It is my personal approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather. I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration; I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated, and a person humanized or de-humanized. If we treat people as they are, we make them worse. If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming.
~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

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Permalink Reply by Anti Everything on May 27, 2015 at 7:58pm

There are but two emotions - Love and Fear - make your choice. Fear is everything that centers around the 'me', based on the life of 'me'. Fear dwells in the mind of 'me'. Love, on the other hand, considering my 'neighbor' first, which allows 'me' and the ego to fade away. The Stoic says that which is within we decide how it effects us - that which is without is out side of us and unless we let it in it has no power to effect us. So it seems, ... "the frightens conclusion that I am the decisive element...," is true if that is what we decide. I AM the decider! (last sentence added for a touch of levity)

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Permalink Reply by Tara on May 27, 2015 at 8:40pm

I agree with you whole heartily but on the same token, are there not situations and people that you're better off avoiding, especially if you are empathic? This is not about Love or Fear for me. It is about self preservation.

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Permalink Reply by Tara on May 27, 2015 at 8:57pm

I quit drinking so why would I go to a bar to hang around with a bunch of drunks? For me personally, sobriety means so much more than just not drinking. There are many life changes that need to happen on the road to becoming sober. Eliminating negativity in my life is a big one for me.

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Permalink Reply by Anti Everything on May 28, 2015 at 4:42pm

Life is a fun bunch of challenges, that's for sure! It is good to know that all things come to pass - nothing comes to stay.

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Permalink Reply by Anti Everything on May 28, 2015 at 4:40pm

Yes, sometimes it has been my experience to walk away from an individual, at least for a season, as I feel my influence is enabling them to proceed in (what I consider) a harmful, counter-productive direction in life. Empathy does cause me, personally, to feel ones pain which can be distracting if some sort of personal gain is my objective. To empathize and encourage, and then get the hell out of the way, is a great way to help friends and strangers.

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Permalink Reply by Tara on May 28, 2015 at 10:51pm

Thanks for your thoughts and input Anti. I really appreciate it.

I've opened myself up a little on this post but you know what... it feels very liberating. I will be writing more essay's focusing on the journey of waking up from within. And maybe if I can help even one person along the way, it's all good.