This is copy for a job we’d like to post on Craigslist. We’re aware that it might get taken down, and we’re comfortable with that, but we want to make sure we’re not exposing ourselves to any other action when we post.

Thanks,

Cate

Multiple Positions (NYC area)

Seeking staff members for multiple positions in a large, New York-based corporation known for its real estate investments, fake universities, steaks, and wine. The boss has very strict standards for female employees, ranging from the women who take lunch orders (must be hot) to the women who oversee multi-million dollar construction projects (must maintain hotness demonstrated at time of hiring).

Title: Honey Bunch (that’s what the boss will call you)

Job requirements:

• No gaining weight on the job (we’ll take some “before” pictures when you start to use later as evidence)
• Must be open to public humiliation and open-press workouts if you do gain weight on the job
• A willingness to evaluate other women’s hotness for the boss’ satisfaction is a plus
• Should be proficient in lying about age if the boss thinks you’re too old Working mothers not preferred (the boss finds pumping breast milk disgusting, and worries they’re too focused on their children).

About us:

We’re proud to maintain a “fun” and “friendly work environment, where the boss is always available to meet with his employees. Like it or not, he may greet you with a kiss on the lips or grope you under the meeting table.

Interested applicants should send resume, cover letter, and headshot to jobs@trump.com<mailto:jobs@trump.com>

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