Booker's "Create a Respectful and Open World for Natural Hair" (CROWN) Act targets discrimination against hairstyles identified with a particular race, including specific hair textures (the word "kinky" will still be okay to describe fetishes but not follicles) and will protect styles such as "braids, twists or locs." Locs being, apparently, hair locks that are spelled without a "k" in order to stick it to The Man.

If the bill passes, no hair will ever again be forced to go to the back of the head, nor will bigoted bosses be able to ask certain employees why they have giant salad forks sticking out of their coiffures. Additionally, all hair can finally come out of the closet and enjoy full and equal rights without having to pretend to be "straight."