U.S.—The recent U.N. conference on climate change and especially the words of 16-year-old activist Greta Thunberg have had a profound impact on the Democratic presidential candidates, so much so that they are now turning words into action and dropping out of the presidential race since they now think there’s no point to it.

“We’re all going to die, so why am I wasting my time on this?!” cried Cory Booker as he collapsed to his knees. “There’s nothing we can do!”

“Why am I fighting for abortion on demand at 39 weeks when we’re all going to die anyway?!” screamed Elizabeth Warren. “It’s all pointless! All my plans are pointless!”

“Here I was worrying about billionaires when it’s the sun that’s my enemy!” yelled Bernie Sanders as he shook his fist at the sun. “I should have taxed the sun!”

The only Democrat not dropping out is Joe Biden, who seemed to not quite understand what’s going on, only remarking, “Yep. Climate stuff is pretty bad,” before going into a long story about his rival Corn Pop.

President Trump also seemed unfazed by it all. “So the planet is warming a bit. Who cares?” he said. “We got A/C. Losers.”

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