TALLAHASSEE, FL—A woman in Florida is being sued after mistakenly referring to an acquaintance’s newborn baby as “a cute little man.”

On July 23, Leslie Fleischer of Tallahassee arrived at a get-together arranged by a friend. The gathering was attended by twenty to thirty people, two of whom brought their six-week-old child. According to one witness, near the end of the evening, when a majority of the guests had left, Leslie Fleischer “looked at the baby, made a funny face, then said: ‘What a cute little man!’”

“I’ll never forget it,” said guest Jordan Stokes. “It was so out of line. My jaw was on the floor.”

Following the remark, the couple quickly left. Three days later, Fleischer was hit with a civil suit. The complaint alleges that the phrase “cute little man” may have caused irreparable harm to the child’s mental state.

“By assuming this child’s species as Homo sapien, Leslie Fleischer heaped upon it an identity with which it may not associate,” attorney Taylor Quinn told reporters. “There are any number of species with which this child could identify as it matures.”

Fleischer has released a public statement through her attorney, which reads in part:

“I would like to publicly apologize for my mistake. My actions were disgraceful and flat-out wrong. I was incredibly reckless to make such assumptions about a child I didn’t know. To all who were affected by my misjudgment, and especially trans-species communities, I am truly sorry.”

A source close to the plaintiff stated that the family is deeply troubled by what occurred and aren’t out to make a political statement with their lawsuit—however, a settlement isn’t out of the question.

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Comment by James Roberts on August 16, 2019 at 11:20am

The real life examples this satirizes, I just hate people that apologize. Hate them. Especially the ones who apologize for disparaging blacks, mexicans or fags/dykes.

Comment by Diana on August 16, 2019 at 9:22am

Quickly approaching the point of zero communication, because we live in fear of offending.  (Not to mention the life long psychological scars our careless words cause a six-week-old.)

Comment by oldranger_68 on August 16, 2019 at 8:15am

This shit is so totally insane I no longer just mourn for my lost country, but for lost mankind.

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