BP's oil gusher in the Gulf: Spin terminology explained (satire)

by Mike Adams, the Health Ranger,
NaturalNews Editor


(NaturalNews Satire) What exactly is a "junk shot?" How about "top kill"
or an "undersea plume?" The oil disaster in the Gulf of Mexico is
introducing the world to all sorts of fascinating words and phrases from
the world of Big Oil. Some of them can be a bit confusing, so as a
public service to NaturalNews readers, I've published a short dictionary
that provides the real meaning behind many of these new terms.

"Top Kill" - A technique used to kill everything on the TOP of the ocean
using chemical dispersants that cause the dead animal bodies to sink to
the BOTTOM of the ocean so they can't be caught on camera.

"Top Hat" - What BP executives will all be wearing at the huge banquet
they will soon be holding to celebrate how they pulled off the
environmental crime of the century
without even a slap on the wrist
(thanks to Big Government complicity).

"Blowout Preventer" - BP's public relations person who lies to the press to prevent a P.R.
blowout from occurring. A blowout preventer preventer is any
member of the press who asks tough questions.

"Junk Shot" - An effort to thrust shredded tires, golf balls and other trash into the
hole to stop the oil flow. This is the oil industry's attempt to try to
make the Gulf of Mexico look like the streets of Mexico
City by filling it with trash.

"Chemical Dispersant" - A highly toxic chemical substance being pumped into the Gulf of Mexico by
the hundreds of thousands of gallons in an effort to kill so much marine
life that the toxicity of the oil itself seems small by comparison.

"Undersea Plume" - Rhymes with "doom." A term used to confuse mainstream news
viewers who would be disturbed by the more accurate term, "Undersea
VOLCANO of oil."

"Live Feed" - What BP calls a video loop which repeats a few choice frames over and over again and morphs them to
create the illusion that it's actually a live video. The effect is
further enhanced by adding a clock that counts off the seconds in real
time in the lower right-hand corner. The public is now utterly
hypnotized by these video loops, much like house cats watching ceiling
fans.

"Mud" - A code word for crude oil. This is being repeated on the TV news when newscasters explain that the live video
feed showing crude oil bursting out of the ocean floor is mostly just
"mud." They actually mean oil. Mud, after all, does not explode from the
ocean floor in a volcanic burst.

"According to plan" - A British Petroleum euphemism for "all f**ked up." As in, "The top kill
procedure is going according to plan." The cleanup is going according to
plan, too, it seems. As long as BP is in charge, everything is
going according to plan. How dare you suggest they have no clue what
they're doing...

"Barrel of oil" - An imaginary unit of oil volume that can be morphed into whatever size BP wishes it to be. At
investors' meetings, the number of barrels of oil in the Gulf of Mexico
magically becomes very large, but during oil spills, the number
magically shrinks to appear much smaller.

"Cleanup workers" - Temporary workers hired by BP to comb the beaches in front of news
cameras to make it appear like something useful is happening. BP has now
promised to triple the number of active cleanup workers to nine.

"You will not be left behind" - A phrase uttered by President Obama,
who, immediately after saying it, left everybody behind and took all of
BPs beach cleaning crews with him, too. Obama has now returned to his
golf game, where he claims to be working on the oil spill problem by
aiming his golf balls in the direction of the Gulf of Mexico and hoping
they will land in the gaping hole at the bottom of the ocean, thereby
making them "junk shot."

Let's get serious

Okay, everything above is just satire, but in reality this Gulf spill is serious
business. Although we try to poke fun at the mistakes that were made in
causing this to happen, the truth is that this situation is no laughing
matter.

In the days ahead, I'm going to be posting stories about the seriousness of this environmental catastrophe and what it
might mean for the future of our world. Make no mistake: This event has
changed the course of our energy future, and it may actually change it
in a very positive way in the long term (even though the short term cost
of this catastrophe may be outrageously large).

Watch for more coverage of this unfolding event right here at NaturalNews.com. And in
the mean time, try not to be hoodwinked by BP spin. The truth is, if
they had any freaking idea what they were doing, the disaster wouldn't
have happened in the first place (or they would have capped it long
before now).
http://www.naturalnews.com/028892_top_kill_junk_shot.html

Views: 62

Comment

You need to be a member of 12160 Social Network to add comments!

Join 12160 Social Network

"Destroying the New World Order"

TOP CONTENT THIS WEEK

THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING THE SITE!

mobile page

12160.info/m

12160 Administrators

 

Latest Activity

Doc Vega commented on Doc Vega's blog post Was a Planned Civil War Averted?
"cheeki kea, you are spot on. The old guard is about to collapse! "
11 hours ago
Doc Vega commented on Doc Vega's blog post Alligator Creek and a Japanese Massacre
"cheeki kea, the Japanese thought they could expand their empire and exact enough damage on the US…"
11 hours ago
Michelle Reichert favorited Burbia's video
yesterday
cheeki kea posted a video

NEW DOCUMENTARY - Dissent Into Madness

TRANSCRIPT AND SOURCES: https://www.corbettreport.com/dissent-into-madness/What if the delusions of the dissidents are in fact real? What if their paranoid f...
yesterday
cheeki kea commented on Doc Vega's blog post Alligator Creek and a Japanese Massacre
"Japan served themselves up no favours by inching out into the South Pacific as they soon found out.…"
yesterday
cheeki kea commented on Doc Vega's blog post Was a Planned Civil War Averted?
"Their plans did not work out because we are the news now, and the old news is the enemy. "
yesterday
Doc Vega posted a blog post

Alligator Creek and a Japanese Massacre

The year is 1942 just a few months after the Pearl Harbor disaster. Despite losses suffered by the…See More
yesterday
Doc Vega commented on Burbia's video
Thumbnail

CHARLIE KIRK WAS CNP! JOSH REEVES 9-11-25

"With all due respect this guy comes off as a drunken asshole and he didn't even  know who…"
Monday
Doc Vega posted a blog post

Was a Planned Civil War Averted?

We are living in sadly historic times where good and evil are in battle all the time. Not that this…See More
Sunday
Sandy posted a photo
Sunday
Less Prone posted a video

President Trump addresses U.N. General Assembly - FULL SPEECH

President Donald Trump speaks at the United Nations General Assembly in New York City.Full video here: https://www.c-span.org/event/white-house-event/preside...
Sunday
Burbia posted a video

2 MIN AGO: Western Provinces MAJOR New WEXIT Announcement - Canada EXPLODES!

In a stunning turn of events, Western provinces just made a major new WEXIT announcement — and it’s shaking the foundations of Canadian unity. Is Western sep...
Saturday
Doc Vega posted a blog post

How You Provoke a Civil War

In the world of counter intelligence which is simply one aspect of many pertaining to asymmetrical…See More
Friday
Burbia commented on Burbia's video
Thumbnail

CHARLIE KIRK WAS CNP! JOSH REEVES 9-11-25

"I don't follow as much with Josh Reeves than I use to. He seems to be a documentary producing…"
Sep 25
Burbia posted a video

CHARLIE KIRK WAS CNP! JOSH REEVES 9-11-25

DONATE-paypal-dayglow76@yahoo.comCashapp-reevesradioVenmo-Josh-Reeves-61FILMS AND AUDIOBOOKS DOWNLOAD STORE-https://store.payloadz.com/results/242828-josh-re...
Sep 25
Doc Vega posted blog posts
Sep 25
tjdavis posted a video

CHARLIE KIRK VIDEO THAT KEEPS GETTING REMOVED OFF OF SEVERAL PLATFORMS

I had not planned to share this publicly, but I believe Advar, who spoke with Charlie Kirk while I was very ill, would have wanted me to. After my interview ...
Sep 25
pohonemas33 team commented on Chris of the family Masters's photo
Thumbnail

Gold-Coast-Message

"untuk bermain slot, kamu cukup kunjungi situs kacang99 pasti langsung gacor"
Sep 24
Doc Vega posted blog posts
Sep 24
Burbia posted a blog post

Former President Trump?

When was this article written? It is attributed to Victor Davis Hanson. He is a Fellow at Hoover…See More
Sep 22

© 2025   Created by truth.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service

content and site copyright 12160.info 2007-2019 - all rights reserved. unless otherwise noted