Five Reasons Israel Blocks Items from Entering Gaza that You Thought were Safe – (Satire)

1. Musical instruments

Let's face it, nothing annoys anyone more than neighbors that play their music too loud.

During the Vietnam war the U.S. Would use frequency generators and amplifiers to play 'the brown note' into the V.C. tunnels before sending in the tunnel rats. The tunnel rats were soldiers who would enter the tunnels and hunt the V.C. who they would come upon while they were experiencing explosive diareah, the effect of the frequency called 'the brown note'Just imagine how things would go sour for you if you were an IDF soldier kicking down a door in Gaza and suddenly the terrorist family of Hamas supporters living there smacks you in the face with the Macarena played on the accordion, bagpipes, and a cowbell. You'd be pooping your mamma's matsa balls in your pants before you'd even digested them.

Musical instruments are obviously serious weapons of mass pant pooping.

2. Crayons

The young whipper snapper millennials will never understand but some of us grew up watching the world's greatest educational programming, Loony Tunes. We might not remember the preamble to the constitution without singing it the 'Schoolhouse Rock' way that hit us in between cartoons but we sure as hell remember how drawing a train tunnel in a cliff face can bring a train out to try and run over our enemies (just don't try to enter the tunnel yourself) and a hole drawn on the ceiling can drop an acme anvil on top of someone's head.

Physics can be weird. Thank God Loony Tunes has taught us the way.

,.. and the word.

3. Cookies

Cookies are a great treat unless they are burnt. That wouldn't happen in a metal shipping container under the middle eastern sun would it? Of course it would. Even famous Amos isn't as black as the cookies shipped into Gaza.

I bet you think these briquets would only sadden the children of Gaza, but you'd be wrong. You see, not only are these cookies as black as a politician's morals, they are also hard as a rock and Palestinian children often throw rocks at Israeli soldiers. It's obviously better if Hamas Jr has to use native Palastinian rocks because at least that way Israel gets more of their land even if it's only one stone at a time.

Even if that's not enough evidence to wake you up to cookie dangers, check out this News report about Iran's female ninja warriors.

None of the news anchors even noticed when reporting this story but Hamas friendlly Iran has really excelled in weaponized cookie development.

4. Fishing rods

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man how to build cybernetic weaponized sharks and you've given him a way to kill you.

The advances in genetic science and robotics are coming to life even as we speak. With just a Roomba and some genetic samples taken from the ocean even you could do it in your basement. I mean not like now, or actually you but, you know,... if you were actually smart.

Even if you have no enemies just try to tell me you wouldn't want a sleek toothy death machine of a land shark like this parked in your garage. I knew you couldn't.

5. Industrial margarine

Thanks to this Palestinian nursery rhyme Israel has had to block butter shipments into Gaza for hundreds of years.

'Betty Ahmad bought some butter, but, she said, The butter's bitter; If I put it in my jihad, It will make my jihad bitter. But, a bit of better butter will make my jihad better. So, she bought a bit of butter better than her bitter butter, and she put it in her jihad and the jihad was not bitter. So, twas better Betty Ahmad bought a bit of better anti-semitism.'

Try saying that without one of their forked Arab tongues!

Although margarine has been around for hundreds of years it gained a much greater market share in the 1980s and this is where things get terroristy. That was at the same time as miracle toast started to appear throughout the United States. A coincidence? Doubtful.


Surely you BDS freaks think it's silly to ban a divine miracle from Gaza but who are God's chosen people? Is it them? Is it you? Is it the Chinese? Is it the left handed lesbian Eskimo midget albinos? No way Jose!

Views: 215

Comment

You need to be a member of 12160 Social Network to add comments!

Join 12160 Social Network

"Destroying the New World Order"

THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING THE SITE!

mobile page

12160.info/m

12160 Administrators

 

TOP CONTENT THIS WEEK

Latest Activity

cheeki kea commented on Chris of the family Masters's blog post The Power Of One
"ants Eat unlucky dead grass-hoppers "
1 hour ago
cheeki kea favorited Chris of the family Masters's blog post The Power Of One
1 hour ago
cheeki kea favorited steve's blog post This cat----- worth watching
2 hours ago
cheeki kea commented on steve's blog post This cat----- worth watching
"ooh, och ~ oh thats nasty, and there's more.."
2 hours ago
James Roberts commented on James T. Kirk's video
Thumbnail

Coronavirus Update: Iran Dep. Health Minister, Switzerland, Brazil, Kuwait, Austria, Croatia

"steve - Don't forget Corexit from the Deepwater Horizon oil spill catastrophe. Not sure if…"
6 hours ago
James Roberts commented on stormtruther's blog post Pete Buttigieg Gives Advice to a Prepubescent 9-Year-Old Boy About How To Come Out As Gay (He also gave him his phone number )
"steve - Yeah, I forgot about soy, that too. I remember when they started serving soyburgers in…"
6 hours ago
Burbia commented on steve's blog post This cat----- worth watching
"                       This cat kills"
6 hours ago
steve posted blog posts
7 hours ago
steve commented on James T. Kirk's video
Thumbnail

Coronavirus Update: Iran Dep. Health Minister, Switzerland, Brazil, Kuwait, Austria, Croatia

"Hey James, I love tuna (starkist in oil) but have really curbed my consumption since fukushima, I…"
9 hours ago
steve commented on stormtruther's blog post Pete Buttigieg Gives Advice to a Prepubescent 9-Year-Old Boy About How To Come Out As Gay (He also gave him his phone number )
"Hey James, Right you are as I have learned that SOY is a main cause of feminizing males as it…"
9 hours ago
Phyllis Maka commented on Phyllis Maka's blog post We The People How To Take Out Washington DC Or A Techno Enemy Big or Small by Using The Popcorn Effect
"It will be their 2 x 4 WHACK OVER THE HEAD WakeUp Call."
9 hours ago
James Roberts commented on Phyllis Maka's blog post We The People How To Take Out Washington DC Or A Techno Enemy Big or Small by Using The Popcorn Effect
"Phyllis - I sure hope that principle of "you reap what you sow" works in  their…"
10 hours ago
James Roberts favorited stormtruther's photo
10 hours ago
Charles Cox favorited stormtruther's blog post Survivors From The MK Ultra Program Come Together To Sue The Federal Government
11 hours ago
James Roberts favorited James T. Kirk's video
11 hours ago
Phyllis Maka commented on Phyllis Maka's blog post We The People How To Take Out Washington DC Or A Techno Enemy Big or Small by Using The Popcorn Effect
"There's always two sides to an idea and it is always just the one side that is used with ill…"
11 hours ago
James Roberts commented on James T. Kirk's video
Thumbnail

Coronavirus Update: Iran Dep. Health Minister, Switzerland, Brazil, Kuwait, Austria, Croatia

"I'm going to stock up on canned tuna in a few days (maybe 75 to 100 cans at 69 cents apiece),…"
11 hours ago
James Roberts favorited James T. Kirk's video
11 hours ago
James Roberts commented on Old Denmark's video
Thumbnail

His middle name “X” police threaten him | Coldplay trouble in town clip profiling

"I hate cops with a passion. I have never seen law enforcement do their job right, whether…"
11 hours ago
James Roberts favorited Old Denmark's video
11 hours ago

© 2020   Created by truth.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service

content and site copyright 12160.info 2007-2019 - all rights reserved. unless otherwise noted