1. Law of Mechanical Repair – After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch, and you’ll have to pee. 

2. Law of Gravity – Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe. 

3. Law of Probability – The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. 

4. Law of Random Numbers – If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always answers. 

5. Variation Law – If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now. 

6. Law of the Bath – When the body is fully immersed in water, the phone will ring. 

7. Law of Close Encounters – The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with. 

8. Law of the Result – When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, IT WILL!!! 

9. Law of Bio-mechanics – The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. 

10. The Coffee Law – As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss (or your wife) will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. 

11. Murphy’s Law of Lockers – If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent locker.

12. Law of Physical Surfaces – The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug. 

13. Law of Logical Argument – Anything is possible especially IF you don’t know what you are talking about. 

14. Law of Physical Appearance – If the clothes fit, they’re ugly. 

15. Law of Public Speaking- A closed mouth gathers no feet! 

16. Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy – As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it OR the store will stop selling it! 

17. Doctors’ Law – If you don’t feel well, make an appointment with the doctor, by the time you get there, you’ll feel better. But don’t make an appointment and you’ll stay sick.

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