The Job of my office is to defend the US Condensed Soup Convention for which it stands! 

First, you got to grease it up or it will hurt. I say that to all my constituents.

To sit back and watch Barack, a good clean black, screw this country was an opportunity I should have been jailed for a life time!

When you lie to the public you have to mean it!

Psssst son put the crack pipe away! Put the damn pipe away!

I'm telling you right now just because Trump has revived the US economy, given a needed tax break to our citizens, is now making an effort to secure our borders which Barack and I tried to stop, and has created those 9 million lost jobs I said we would never get back, doesn't mean that I'm impotent I mean incompetent!

Look, I'm a hands on kind of guy just ask all the women and children underneath me!

When you use drugs you might as well fry an egg! I mean sit on it! I mean, well look at my son, Hunter, he had to learn from someone!