Americans Required to Add Star of David to U.S. Flags by July 4th: Velcro Stars Available at Most Post Offices

SATIRE: Americans required to add Star of David to U.S. flags by July 4th: Velcro stars available at most post offices

by David Morris

http://usmediaandisrael.com/?p=475

 

WASHINGTON (USMediaAndIsrael.com) – Congress today passed a bipartisan bill requiring Americans to add Israel’s Star of David to the U.S. flag for the week of July 4th. Rep. Hugh Llewellyn III (R-Alabama) and Sen. Dale Wentworth (D-New Jersey) introduced the legislation during a special session.

From the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, Sen. Wentworth told reporters:

“This act is to symbolize our unconditional support of the great nation of Israel, and recognizes that in many ways, Israel is already America’s 51st state. Thanks to our foreign aid, Israel’s per capita income rivals our own.”

Both Congressmen recently received $25 million in contributions from the Friends of Zionism (FIZ). In response to reporters’ questions, Rep. Llewellyn replied that, unlike the $15 million Presidential candidate Gingrich received from Sheldon Adelson, his money had no strings attached:

“Israel’s razing of villages, killing women and children, seizing Palestinian land for their settlers are purely defensive actions. The fact is, Israelis treat Palestinians exactly like we did our American Indians. We are simply trying to deflect international criticism like the ph.... No one should question the moral authority of the U.S. and Israel.”

GOP nominee Mitt Romney quickly placed calls both to Prime Minister Netanyahu and Sheldon Adelson to express his “deep and profound pleasure” at the bill’s passage. In an address to the Iowa Jewish Farmers Association, Romney added, “A bottle rocket falling into an Israeli corn field is a rocket into an American corn field, and we agree that it is an act of war. War with a silver lining.”

Citizens who own American flags should proceed to their nearest Post Office to receive their free Star of David patch, which includes a convenient flag-ready VELCRO® backing.

Israeli officials have made no comment on the Congressmens’ bill, except to say that the Star of David should be placed above the flag’s other fifty stars.

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Comment by Tara on June 28, 2012 at 3:45pm

Hilarious! I needed a good laugh today ;)

Comment by Central Scrutinizer on June 28, 2012 at 11:43am

lol...read the headline and thought this place really lost its governmental mind now...lmao

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