New Law Requires You To Listen To Greta Thunberg Lecture Before Purchasing Gasoline

U.S.—A series of new bills working their way through state legislatures in New York, California, Oregon, Hawaii, and several other progressive states will require you to listen to a Greta Thunberg lecture before purchasing gasoline.

Motorists will be required to watch a 20-minute lecture by the 16-year-old climate activist before they purchase gallons and gallons of harmful fossil fuels.

"We want to make sure drivers are informed," said California Governor Gavin Newsom, who says he will sign the bill into law. "So we are having them get lectured by a 16-year-old so they will have all the facts before they do something rash like put gasoline in their cars to go to work."

Once the driver has listened to Thunberg's entire lecture, they will be prompted to complete a quick, fifteen-question quiz to show they understand how horrible they are for driving a car. Drivers who get at least 80% will then be allowed to refuel their vehicles. As they refuel, the screen will simply play a clip of Thunberg saying, "How dare you!" over and over again.

The law will not apply to celebrities purchasing jet fuel.

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Comment by cheeki kea on October 11, 2019 at 6:56am

- and driver participation in the requirements outlined above will be monitored and policed by  Extinction Rebellion corp. All EV drivers will adhere to the same conditions upon charge-up of any vehicle where hydro lakes are deemed low. As a special introduction offer, all drivers will receive triple fly-by points on each purchase. 

Comment by Doc Vega on October 11, 2019 at 6:10am

It's getting more insane out there each and every day! I'd like to wring her little neck!

Comment by Burbia on October 9, 2019 at 7:18am

Unleaded.

Comment by Central Scrutinizer on October 9, 2019 at 1:05am

They know better than to even dare try it, if that actually got implemented, ya realize how many poor gas pumps in this Country would be sacrificed, taken out, crushed, run over, beaten, kicked, crippled, maimed, mutilated, folded, spindled & killed . Billions lost in fooked-up fuel delivery systems, gas stations burned to the ground, longer lines, longer waits, price gouging, odd & even days,...  Ohhhh! the Humanity!!! 

....and all over a brain-washed, MK Ultra'd, Anti-Social, baby-eating teen swiss miss airhead who's actually just super pissed off because the "Cool kids" won't let her join their lil circle, and emotionally upset nobody ever asked her to the senior prom this year after finding out she's a baby-eater from Hell's Kitchen,  lol

Comment by James Roberts on October 8, 2019 at 10:30am

When I saw the title, I thought it was serious. Whew!

"Destroying the New World Order"

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