NIST Admits Towers Did NOT Collapse Due to Fire - Original Humor

12.160MHz By Marklar M. Marklar July 04, 2009 In an unprecedented move today, during a White House press conference, Shyam Sunder of the NIST revealed that NIST engineers we’re wrong about the fires in WTC 1, 2, and 7 being the sole cause of the collapse of those three towers. “We’ve uncovered new information that proves we were wrong about the fires causing the collapse of the World Trade Towers. We do apologize for the mix-up but this information was not previously available and quite frankly we were just pulling stuff out of our asses,” Mr. Sunder said. “New photographic evidence proves the cause of the collapse beyond any shadow of a doubt to be dinosaur attack.”

Newly revealed photo shows giant reptilian carnivore rampaging through rubble shortly after the Collapse of WTC7 “The photo was actually found by Michelle Obama in the Oval office,” continued Mr. Sunder. “For years we’d heard rumors of this photo’s existence in government circles but former President George W. Bush claimed to have lost it while penning presidential signing statements. The former president’s ranch in Crawford Texas was searched several times for the document, we were told, as was the Bohemian Grove retreat in California. Nobody however, suspected that the former president had actually been working in the oval office when the photograph was lost. As Mrs. Obama related the story to us she just happened to be on her knees in the oval office with her face pressed against the carpet when she noticed something underneath the oval office desk. After a thorough investigation and two subsequent congressional inquiries the sighting proved to be the aforementioned photo and what appeared to be half of a hacked up pretzel.” “Now that we have this incontrovertible evidence I only hope that it will lay all wild speculations and conspiracy theories to rest once and for all," Mr. Sunder opined. "Although we were wrong about the fires it’s obvious to anyone with eyes to see now that this was the exclusive handiwork of Osama Bin Laden .” When asked by a member of the White House Press Corps how he was certain that it was Osama Bin Laden’s dinosaur Mr. Sunder replied, “Uh, well,.., and I think this should really be obvious you know, but Osama Bin Laden lives in a cave you know,.. dinosaur/caveman, caveman/dinosaur,.. duh. How many other cavemen do you know of?” After another member of the White House Press Corps suggested the dinosaur may have simply escaped from a nearby creationist theme park, White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs rushed the podium to reply himself saying, “Shut up, you don’t know what you’re talking about you doody head press guy with your doody press kinda,.. doody stuff!” A small handful of press corps newcomers seemed surprised by this reaction. Copyright ©2009, Your Mamma