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United Airlines Soon to Accept Lotto Tickets at the Ticket Window - (Satire)

United Airlines recently decided to create a bonus lottery for it's employees instead of the more traditional cash bonus sytem used in the past. The new lottery system was not embraced by the airline's employees however, creating a backlash that made them get rid of the new policy.

Though employees didn't embrace the idea, company insiders have stated that United Airlines management has fallen in love with it and may soon be accepting not only lottery tickets in exchange for airline tickets, but also church raffle tickets and sweepstakes entries.

"It's gonna be a lucky economic boom for the company and the country." said one insider from a scratch ticket factory. "Not only will the airline create thousands of ticket scratcher jobs, many other companies will get on the lucky bandwagon as well because it's lucky. Ten years down the road Wall Street may even start creating lotto ticket derivatives giving the entire economy a totally lucky boost as derivatives always do. The whole thing will be a win, win, win situation. I'm in the winning business, so I know these things"

For some reason United Airlines has not yet responded to our inquiries.

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