Italy Arrests Cardinals And Seizes Vatican City

Vatican City ceases to be an independent state.

Rome, Italy – Italian law enforcement arrested scores of Cardinals early yesterday morning. The Italian military shortly afterward swept into Vatican City. The Italian parliament voted overwhelmingly to merge Vatican City into the city of Rome, effectively ending Catholicism’s reign over the city-state.

To Catch A Predator(s)

Italian law enforcement worked for months to launch a sting program on the pedophile clergy that made up Vatican City. The operation was codenamed Spotlight after the 2015 movie about clergy sex abuse scandal in Boston, Massachusetts.

Inspector Anthony Canard is the commanding officer of Spotlight. “Everyone knew Vatican City was the center of an international pedophile ring,” he stated. “We sent busloads of orphans into Vatican City for the annual Cardinal Convention. Long story short? The kids were never in harm’s way, and we nabbed a lot of perps.”

At that point, Vatican City was still an independent country. Italian police had to smuggle the cardinals out on the bus to face criminal charges in Italian courts.

Catholic clergy overseas are quick to point out their peers who are under arrest are victims of a virulent strain of anti-Catholicism and hatred of the man-boy sacrament.

Invasion!

Once Spotlight ended and the pedophile ring jailed, the Italian government moved quickly. Local units of the military swept into Vatican City. “We were sick and tired of looking the other way,” an anonymous politician noted.

Swiss Guards were caught unaware. It was obvious their pointy pikes were no match for assault rifles. The invasion was bloodless. No one was injured.

At this time, the Italian government isn’t sure what it’s going to do with all the wealth the papacy built up over the centuries. Insiders say many buildings will be transformed into museums. Other assets will probably be auctioned off and given to survivors of clergy abuse. “It’s poetic justice,” one government official remarked, “and the pedophile priests just got slammed with poetry.”

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Permalink Reply by Less Prone on January 29, 2019 at 1:37pm

Wow! Is this real? If true it would be a great news. Where's this from?

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Permalink Reply by Doc Vega on January 29, 2019 at 1:46pm

The Vatican sure didn't do shit about all the reported child molesting going on in the churches did they?

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Permalink Reply by Chris of the family Masters on January 29, 2019 at 1:47pm

If this is a truth there are huge potential ramification. Firstly, half our taxes goes to Vatican coffers. Secondly, what's going to happen to the 'souls reaping" as all birth certificates are processed there.

The bill in senate about dismantling IRS suddenly makes perfect sense.

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Permalink Reply by Chris of the family Masters on January 29, 2019 at 2:57pm

This was sent to me by my friend with an annotation:

"This was just now posted to me via email – from Arlyn T. I have known and inter-acted with Arlyn on a range of issues through more than 20 years. He is usually quite reliable.

What I find interesting about this is that I have seen NO reference to the article or the event via any of the other sites I monitor.

I set this before you – as possible false information .. or speculation."

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Permalink Reply by dogitydog on January 29, 2019 at 3:19pm

Wow! I want this to be true and still trying to verify it with solid proof.
Out of curiosity I checked to see what the fake fact checkers at Snopes had to say. They claim it is False. But that doesn't mean anything because they are not legitimate fact checkers.
https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/italy-seize-vatican-city/