I haven't been online very much the past half a year or so, yet I am not finished and want to update people in regard to my personal accounting.
Back in 2013 my life was sent into a whirlwind of turmoil. My son was arrested in August of 2013. Mind you I have done a fairly decent job raising him as a single mother of two mentally challenged sons. Our lives were on track until both of them were over medicated while living in Florida. They returned to PA with the attitude that they did not require mental health treatment after all the medications they had them on brought them to their knees and turned them into walking zombies. So while those who suffer with chemical imbalances need medication the proper dosage is necessary in order to create stability and a workable environment for them to function.
They lost ground in 2005 through 2007 when we returned to our home town in PA. They refused medication and or mental health treatment. It was fine until my eldest sons life companion decided to end their 4 year relationship in April of 2013. This devastated him and sent him on a spiral downward. He lost all interest in purpose and while he remained at work and hooked up with an old girlfriend, he still never managed to pull himself above the rejection he suffered at the loss of his previous girlfriend. He was living a sparse existence of what he had been living and was admitted to the hospital within hours of her breaking off the relationship just as he had started a new job and lost his great-grandmother all within the same week of that April.
He remained under care for a week and was released, still not accepting treatment for his Bi polar and adhd. He had lost ground and would not gain it back for at least two more years.
He had his car t-boned in March and my mother decided to help him with a car as he needed this to hold the job down, which at this point, was all he had to hold on to.
The car was a catalyst to again more chaos in his life, yet he maintained his work related responsibilities. He introduced me to his new girlfriend, all seemed calm but inside he was boiling and screaming for help and none was to be found. How can one hear the inner scream and cry for help?
The end of June he stumbled into contact with someone he had known for a couple of years and this gal had propositioned him when she was 13. He had at the time declined and told her when she turned 18 to look him up and see where he was at that point. They parted ways as he was in a serious committed relationship with his then live in girlfriend who he intended to marry.
This gal would message him from time to time but didn't pursue it to any degree or rather he never entertained the thought of taking it further. This June was different as he was no longer committed to anyone as far as marriage any ways. They bantered back and forth one thing led to another and they met up. Needless to say she was older but not old enough for him to be meeting up with still just underage .. and even though she climbed out a two story window to meet up with him. He is all to blame. He met her maybe 2 times and it was not online where they met it was at the mall when she was 13 at a magic game in a public setting. That is not what was reported though and this is all against him and his life is ruined as a result of not fighting this.
Her mother reported this and he was brought up on numerous counts of felony charges, regardless of the truth. He was not allowed to defend himself and we didn't have money so he had no choice other than to go along with what ever was presented and by not knowing the law when he asked for a phone call to his attorney and was denied he ended up asking them after a couple of hours what did he need to do to move forward? They said "fill out this confession and sign it" so he asked what did he have to say? They told him what to say and then he asked again to make a call to his attorney. They told him "no, not until you stand in front of the magistrate and then you an make a call." He was taken in before 7 am and his call to me came around 1:10 PM.. he said I signed a confession.. I said what happened to calling the attorney.?. he said they wouldn't let me .. next thing you know he appealed to the Public defender to motion to dismiss the warrant-less search of his work and dismiss the confession due to it being under duress and threats WELL that NEVER happened.
A week later we posted bail using my mothers retirement money, they ensured that once he was in jail and followed through the court requirements the bail would be released back to her, That was a lie as well and now to find out she is out the money and the company Ace Bail bonds is up on felony charges for fraud; she will most likely never see a dime of her retirement back. He was out on bail and from one month to the next he was told a number of things that never happened the way he was told it would. They kept changing the story, the terms and agreement and he was so confused by the time he stood in front of the judge he said "I am sorry" and took what ever they threw him just to be over with this and move forward with what is left of his life.
He is now looking at a life time on Megan's list (25 Years) . His psychologist didn't even realize how much trouble he was in until it was too late making notes on his file that this was consensual. It turns out had he taken this to trial he would have at least removed some of the doubts and removed some of the lies, but the detective threatened if he didn't play his way, that he would make certain he spent the rest of his life in jail. Now his life is tainted.
He had the dates where he was at work and he had gone away for 2 weeks of the time he was accused and the gal had gone away 2 weeks in the middle of July whereby limiting the amount of times they could have met up to a one week period the end of June to the beginning of July and with his work it boils down to about 2 times.
but they brought him up on 23 counts of charges
My point of writing this is: "It happens" and it happens more often than any one can imagine.. and until it happens to you or your family; you would like to think that the law is on your side.. without money it is not!! You need money and lots of it to fight the system. You only have to have someone accuse a person, whether it is a lie or the truth it doesn't matter. In this case we have a mother who knew nothing about the daughter and how she was sleeping around and meeting up with a number of guys who got away with violating her daughter. My son was not as sneaky and he got nailed, but there are about 20 other guys who claim they have had a piece of action and even if you trust half of what you hear that leaves ten.. she claims she only had been with two others.. but still.. all in all the story was told by the mother who has no clue what the girl was up to and had she monitored her internet she would have known the truth. and been able to stop this from happening..I honestly believe if they had pulled up all her contacts and activity they would have seen a pattern here and it would have lessened the severity of how hard they came down on my son.. but she is the Victim after all.. or well her mother was.. at least she is the one who reported this not the girl herself,, which I doubt she would have taken the stand against him this is where we went wrong..
I monitored my children's internet activity when they were young.. I trusted that most people with children do so to protect their children, I found out I am wrong.. and my son paid the price I gather ultimately .. He was not aware that she was under the required age.
Time had elapsed and he miscalculated the time since they had met up initially, even though on the chat she had made reference to her age, he was always chatting with more than one person at a time. He always had at least 6 chat pop ups in session at one time. She also used a number of people online to track him down when she could not get a hold of him right away. Begged him to leave his job and meet up with her.
There is most likely more to the story than even I am aware of, yet I know one thing for certain this gal was a regret of his and he would not have done any thing had he known his life would have been lost as a result. He loves and loves to be loved.. but not children, she came across as being older than what she was at the time, simply a distraught period and misconception on his part, but certainly knowing all of what he has learned in the past 24 months, he would not have even responded to her had he thought for one minute this would have been the end result.
The costs that this has imposed on all of us is too much to even comprehend.. like it or not he is stuck with the bill: court costs, housing, restitution all of it.. can not make it go away .. and to hire a civil defense attorney has to be considered or this may remain on his record for 25 more years, so tell me "What life is this.?"
If you abide by the law.. make certain it is a law,, cause the law is forever changing and the laws that applied thirty years ago are not the same as they are today. There is money in the "CRIMINAL JUSTICE SYSTEM" they take it and you pay for it.. not the tax payers.. just saying this was a real eye opener for all of us..
I stand behind my son.. he has made a few mistakes in life but he is a decent young man smart but not legally educated .. and he is not a public concern.. just a man who had no knowledge of law before hand.. and got thrown to the wolves.. people mind your rights, as we have none today... just do as your told or pay through the teeth to keep your good name clean.. or be marred with a scarlet letter!
From the source itself.. people be wary. .most people who know my son,, know he is a decent person and are willing to go out on a limb for him.. but for those who don't know him, they would sooner believe the reported story the paper has to offer and not the facts surrounding this event.. "be careful what you choose to believe",,, or as others say "what you wish for..."
BE HAPPY, BE HEALTHY, BUT ABOVE ALL ELSE BE WARY...