– Hello! Gordon’s pizza?
– No sir it’s Google Pizza.
– So it’s a wrong number?
– No sir, Google bought it.
– OK. Take my order please ..
– Well sir, you want the usual?
– The usual? Do you know me?
– According to caller ID, the last 12 times, you ordered pizza with cheese, sausage, thick crust
– OK! That’s it
– May I now recommend ricotta, arugula with sun dried tomato?
– No, I hate vegetables
– But your cholesterol is 7.4
– How do you know?
– Through the subscriber’s guide. We have your blood tests for the last 7 years
– Okay, but I don’t want this pizza, I already take medicine
– You haven’t taken the  medicine regularly, 4 months ago, you only purchased 30 tablets at Drugs Online
– I bought more from another pharmacy
– It’s not showing on your credit card
– I paid in cash
– But you did not withdraw that much cash according to your bank statement
– I have another source of cash
– This is not showing on your last Tax form unless you got it from undeclared income source
-BLOODY HELL? Stuff Google, Facebook, Twitter, and WhatsApp. I’m off to an Island without the internet.

– I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport; it expired 5 weeks ago..”